Terror 101: How To Survive A Porno Film for Dummies
As a setting, the horror, thriller, and suspense genres have had a mixed amount of luck out at sea, despite the location being ripe for fear. From the high-brow cinematic treasures like Knife in the Water (1962) to the A-list cast Dead Calm (1989), the hokey Ghost Ship (2002), and the average Below (2002): the enclosed, isolated atmosphere of the ocean can create the setup for many claustrophobic movies dependent on tension. One such film is Donkey Punch: survival horror about a group of youths that become torn apart when one of them dies during a yacht cruise. Lines are drawn amongst those on the boat and violence and murder begins to spiral out of control. Do note, that the word "Donkey Punch" refers to a dangerous and depraved sex act, which serves as the catalysis for the events that take place. As a terror ride Donkey Punch is much better than most, with much of the last hour of the film well near riveting, even if much of what is done is expected.
Despite some of its...
Assinine
The movie's title should tell you all you need to know about the artistic ambition of the filmmakers. A Donkey Punch is not a boxing term or a beverage served in a bowl at parties. It's an act of violence perpetrated during sex - possible mythical (I'm naive in these matters) - in which the aggressor punches his partner hard on the back of the neck causing involuntary muscular contractions. So Donkey Punch is to four-legged mammals what Dirty Sanchez is to unwashed Mexicans and Strawberry Shortcake is to fruity deserts.
The film opens in sun-kissed Ibiza where a group of pleasure-seeking English boys pick up a gaggle of fellow countrylasses in a bar and, after plying them with champagne, invite them back onboard their private yacht for after party. The girls are soon installed on said vessel, glass in hand, bikinis likewise. Once the drink starts to flow and the industrial-strength amphetamines kick in, the youngsters pair off and go below deck to, er, cement their new...
New Title: Idiots on a Boat
Basically, "Donkey Punch" is about a bunch of idiots who do really stupid things for about an hour and a half. The "film" concerns another one of those "we killed someone and lets cover it up" plots. Of course, nothing goes the way the characters want and they all end up paying for their transgressions. The problem with the film is that the characters are all isolated on a yacht out at sea. While the yacht is pretty cool, there is not many places to hide or do much else so the tension is more or less evaporated and comes down to who is going to kill who next. None of the characters seem to behave in any sort of realistic way and thus I must assume they are all idiots. The film contains some full frontal male nudity which I guess was thrown in so that there would be something to talk about. What was not included was any sort of plot or characters that were at all interesting. This same movie might have made a better comedy.
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